Slots Hero

Slot Machines will no longer have reels, virtual or otherwise.

At least the ones in the United States will no longer have them.

In a meeting with lawmakers, problem gambling advocates and peace keepers met in a top secret meeting to discuss ways to try to curb problem gambling. They could not ban gambling since casinos have long since been an established American pastime.

Then the idea came to tackle individual games, starting with the most popular, to try to curb and decrease playing. It was a tough decision between poker and slot machines, but there is so much in the way f franchises and business and TV shows that it was determined to leave poker alone. For now.

Unfortunately slot machines are the ones being hit.

In an effort to cut down on playing slots, slot machines will no longer have reels. This removes the show and entertainment from the popular casino game. It is hoped that those who play for the entertainment factor will then cease playing.

The die hards can still play. The way the next generation of slot machines will work is like so:

Players will insert money in a slot and push a button. Players will then twirl to their left. It is hoped that enough twirling will create dizziness to the point that players cannot tell their left from their right or until they are too dizzy to feed more money into the machine’s slot.

Once the money has been inserted and the twirling dispensed with, players push a button and the machine either spits money out or keep the money players put in. More than likely it will keep the money. Those on the secret committee decided that it would be fine for the slot machines to still take players’ money since that is what they do more often than not anyway. The only thing missing will be the reels.

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A slot machine robber in Queensland, Australia had a rough night.

I heard about this robber and felt compelled to share it with slots players and slots fans.

Shortly after one in the morning, the slots robber and his two accomplices broke into a Highlands Tavern in Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia. Ignoring the bar and its tills, the robber and friends headed for the tavern’s gaming section, home its poker and slot machines.

First up were the poker machines, which apparently went well from the robber’s point of view. But when they hit the slot machines—literally—that is when the night went south. Breaking into the slot machines tripped an alarm that brought in the police.

First on the scene was a dog squad officer with his canine companion. While two of the robbers ran off, the first one stayed and threw a bottle at the officer who then sent the dog at the slot machine robber.

The robber suffered a bite to his right thigh and then some as he defended himself against the police dog. Concerned for the safety of his canine partner, the police officer then tasered the robber.

The would-be slot machine robber is now cooling his heels in jail while he waits for his legal fate. Police continue to search for the slot machine robber’s accomplices.

According to Sergeant Jamie Deacon, “They [the robbers] damaged six poker/slot machines with a sledge hammer and/or crow bar…They removed cash boxes from each machine.”

While slot machines might appear to be easy money, slots players know that slots do not always give out easy money. And the would-be robber certainly will not be thinking that slot machines are easy money.

But of course his perspective is a tad bit different from a slot machine player.

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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it is time to give thanks to the good things in our lives. So here is to being thankful to slots.

One of the things that I am thankful for slots for is the graphics and the themes that make each slots game its own little entity. It is the graphics and themes that make slots games as entertaining as they are. I cannot imagine playing a random number type of outcome game of chance without the lights and colors and sounds.

I am also thankful for how easy it is to play slots games. I do not have to worry about remembering any rules. All you need to do to play a slots game is set your wager and press Spin. That is all there is to it. This makes it easy to come home from work and spin the reels while watching a TV show or the like.

Another thing that I am thankful for is that slots do not have any strategy to worry about learning or practicing. They are played the same way every time. And with no way to impact the outcome of a spin, slots strategy is just unnecessary. So one less thing to have to worry about.

Then there is the ability to sit down and start playing a slots game for the first time without having to wonder if I was doing it right or wrong. Slots are a good game to wade into the world of casino games with.

And then there is the feeling of winning. It almost comes as a surprise and you cannot quite believe it when it happens. But there it is—the feeling of winning.

I am thankful for the entertainment and east that slots games offer. It is what makes them my favorite casino game.

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Okay I like a good show just as much as the next person, but I was not pleased at what a travel writer wrote pertaining to Las Vegas yesterday. The writer was encouraging gamblers who travel to Las Vegas to, rather than gamble away their money on such things as slot machines, pass on slots and catch a few shows.

This could not possibly be encouraged because the travel people most likely get a kick-back from scheduling and buying tickets to Vegas shows.

Here is the thing, readers, when I make the plans and take myself out to Vegas it is to enjoy playing the slots and maybe a table game or two at the Mecca of gambling. I am not going to fly out to Vegas to catch a showing of ‘The Phantom of the Opera.’ If I was going to do that I would fly to New York and catch it with Broadway quality actors.

When a gambler takes the time and spends the money to go to the Mecca of gambling they want to gamble. They do not want to spend their vacation watching shows. Sure, taking in a show makes for a nice break. But for me the slots are enough of a show.

And slot machines are individual shows in their own right.

Think for a moment of the graphics on a slot machine, and think of the overall production that happens before your eyes when you hit Spin.

There are lights and sounds and then there are the reels spinning away with all the colors of their symbols. Slot machines in their own right are very much a show. I have already discussed how reels and all the glitz of a slot machine are not necessary.

And yet slot machines still have all the glitz—the lights, sounds and colors. It is because slot machines are mini-shows. And they do provide entertainment—otherwise I doubt the number people who play them would be so high.

So all of you travel writers out there, stop trying to persuade gamblers to stop playing slots and catch a show instead. It is my money and I entertain myself how I see fit. And if slot machines are the fit for me so be it.

You spend the money and fly out to Vegas to catch a show. I will see you at the slots.

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